porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
