Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
