get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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