If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
