Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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