She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
