who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
