An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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