THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
