that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
