So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
