Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
