dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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