no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
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the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
