So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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