He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
