Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
