return my video game
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
