is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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