Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
