Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
