Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
