I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
