is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
