I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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