I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
