If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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