How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
