What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
