I CAN MOONWALK!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
