why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
