thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
