don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You need a sexual gate keeper
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
