The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
