i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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