There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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