Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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