We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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