hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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