apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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