i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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