Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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