I just made out with a guy for $7.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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