he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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