Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize