I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
