I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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