wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
