will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
