hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
