what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
