It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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