so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
