I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
