I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
