Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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