But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
