Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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